The new 90210 is missing one very important person.

Right? Andrea? Where the hell is she? She should easily be the old woman who’s sleeping with teenagers in the new 90210 spinoff. I think they’re just saving her up for her own show called ‘Drea, where she teaches young actresses how to play characters that 10-15 years younger than they really are. Sick burn, I know, but is Gabrielle Carteris really going to read this? Quick trivia, she studied mime. MIME. Oh and by the way, that autographed picture of her above isn’t actually mine. I found it on the internet. I traded mine for one of Jason Preistley’s denim shirts years ago.

I am excited that these numbers are back in the title of a show. How many good number-titled shows are out there? One Tree Hill? Jon and Kate Plus 8? …Numbers? I guess there’s a lot. But none of them compare to the zip code where Dylan’s dad blew up in, and then came back from the dead in a later season. Luke Perry must have deuced his khakis when he read that script back in the late 90s.

I don’t know why I have watched this show. I’ve seen almost all the episodes and I’m a dude and I was like 5 when it came out. But my mom and sister watched it and my dad wouldn’t always let me watch Married With Children. So I got screwed. Damn Bundys and their bathroom humor.

In conclusion, I have faith in the new 90210. I hope they mix it up. I hope it stays ridiculous. And I hope Jenny Garth gets naked.

On a completely unrelated note, I’m doing a show at Cigars and Stripes next Saturday night with two of my buddies and the show is sure to please. Here’s the flyer.