Go see Tropic Thunder. Lot’s of laughs. Not the funniest movie I’ve ever seen, but some really hilarious parts and sequences. And overall, a really well done movie. The production value is really high and the action is surprisingly good for a comedy. Like Pineapple Express (I haven’t seen it yet, but here good things) it’s a great comedy/action movie but it wouldn’t be great as just one or the other. It just be sub-par. But I really enjoyed it.

Look out for Robert Downey Jr. in one of the best roles ever. An amazing actor, he is. I don’t get the controversy of him playing a black guy, either. Isn’t there a movie called White Chicks where the entire movie is basically the same thing, reversed, but not funny?

Ben Stiller doesn’t blow you away, but he contributes well enough, and he wrote, directed, and starred in the movie so he still rules. Jack Black is kind of pointless at first, but gets really good towards the middle to end. His drug problem in the movie is really well acted. Jay Baruchel plays the smart, simple actor and gets a lot of screen time which is great, since he hasn’t done too many huge projects since Undeclared. Very funny guy. Brandon T. Jackson is very funny too, probably most funny in the very first frames of the movie, where they have a fake commercial for his rapper-turned-actor character’s energy drink called Booty Sweat. It’s awesome.

Oh yeah, the movie opens up with fake trailers for the actors’ movies, which is one of the coolest ideas and best parts. Think Grindhouse’s fake trailers, but better. Jack Black does a Nutty Professor type fart flick, Ben Stiller does a ridiculous action sequel, and RDJ does a movie about gay priests. They are all hilarious. I can’t wait for the DVD of this film because there’s going to be like nine discs of special features of the making of the making of the movie within the movie.

I highly recommend Tropic of Thunder. There’s a ton of non-advertised actors like Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise (best dancing ever filmed), Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Nick Nolte, Jon Voight, and Tobey Maguire. Go see it whenever you can.

Late last night I also started watching Hook. Bang-a-rang, Rufio.

Categories: movies, trips
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The worst movie of all time is about a month away from gracing the screens at your local theater. Here are some hints as to what it is:

Here’s another:

You get the idea. Here’s the terrible movie:

Disaster Movie. It’s telling you what it is right in the title. It will not be funny. It will barely be a movie. And the filmmakers will add bank to their rich pile. How does this happen? Why do they think having a black midget in a movie suddenly equals comedy?

Scary Movie 1 and 2 were quality spoof films. Even 3 and 4 were decent, since they were done by David Zucker of classic spoof movie fame. You could at least see the effort in those movies.

Then came the giant turds with some of the “writers” that collaborated on the previously mentioned films. Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans. While Date and Epic are terrible, terrible films that try for the opposite of funny, Meet the Spartans may be the worst comedic attempt ever caught on film. I just watched the movie I know Who Killed Me with Lindsay Lohan recently. It’s not good. It’s really bad. But it’s a hell of a lot funnier as a drama than Meet the Spartans as a “comedy.”

Why was I watching I know Who Killed Me you ask? Because Lohan is stripping on the cover. If you’re the least bit interested in boobies, you should go out and rent it.

in conclusion, there’s a huge amount of bad coming this way towards the end of the summer. Cows will fall on heads. Vomit will spew. Superheroes will say the exact same lines from the movies they’re spoofing before getting hit in the nuts. A disaster is coming. I just wish it was a hurricane heading towards the houses of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

They’re the directors/writers. Here they are being douchey:

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What an amazing movie the Dark Knight was. If you didn’t like this movie, there can’t be too much in the world you find appealing. There wasn’t one part of it that wasn’t extremely well thought out and executed to the highest caliber of awesome. Probably one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. It’s still one notch below Batman and Robin though.

“ICE TO SEE YOU!”

Just kidding. The weekend was great and all it was cracked up to be. I featured at the Barrel of Laughs on Friday and Saturday night for a show a piece and had a blast. Very fun crowds and lots of great stage time. Lots of good audience interaction, which isn’t something I always dive into, but it’s fun when there’s a good dialog going. My buddy and fellow comic Jay Harris taped Friday’s show for me, so I’ve got a good half hour of stuff to work with for a new promo DVD. Josh Alton was the headliner, a very funny Chicago comic with a great act.

I had some grad parties on Saturday night too with close friends and they were pretty gnarly. Good food and lots of laughs. It’s weird not having anywhere to go back to in the fall for a change. After 18 years of school starting in the fall, you kind of get used to it. Maybe I’ll take a non-credit class at Moraine Valley Community College just so I don’t fall by the wayside. I’ve always wanted to learn how to color inside the lines.

Last night I did a guest spot at Joe’s on Weed St. with Mikey-O Comedy. Such a sweet crowd, and really packed, in one of the coolest venues I’ve performed at. Now I know why everyone is always praising the place. It’s run well and everybody knows how to have a good show. Very cool atmosphere, and I hope to be back soon.

Finally, I’m featured on a new Coke Zero Billboard.

Well not really. But that kind of looks like me right? Check out my pictures section for some comparisons. The Coke Zero guy is not nearly as ripped as me, but few are. Including Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“HAVE AN ICE DAY!”

Categories: comedians, friends, movies, shows
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I hosted a show at Maxum Bar and Grill last night. It was a show. That’s about it. Fun times with comics Dan Brennan and Ryan Andrews though, check them out sometime.

I’ve been watching The Simpsons a lot lately on DVD and are finding them hilarious. Seasons 8 and 9 have some great episodes so far. Great show to fall asleep laughing to.

I’m reading the third Harry Potter Book. I’m very behind in the whole popularity of the series, but it’s a good read all the same. I get the hoopla, but each book isn’t that much different from the previous one so far. We’ll see.

I have been reading hilarious “true” ER Horror stories on doctor’s websites. If you’re bored, google it and cringe away. Here’s a good list to start with.

I now am the proud possessor of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s complete filmography. Every movie ever. It’s a glorious day in the history of my life.

Next weekend, Ash moves up to Chi-town, The Dark Knight comes out, I get paid, I’m featuring at the Barrel, and two of my best friends are having blowout graduation parties. I don’t think it gets any better than that. What an orgy of fun times.

Categories: movies, random, shows
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I know I mentioned that I saw Wanted last weekend and that Angelina Jolie’s ass was in it, but I thought I would mention it again because people searched the terms “ass” “angelina jolie” and “wanted” and found my blog frequently over the holiday weekend. So I’m just seeing if that happens again. If that’s the case, then I’ll have to change my website to “Angelina Jolie’s Ass’s Blog” to get more hits.

I saw absolutely no fireworks this weekend oddly enough, and didn’t miss them at all. They’re cool and all, but so are movies that I haven’t seen before and I’d rather watch them with the lady. We watched Charlie Bartlett, In Bruges, Sleepwalking, Stop-Loss, and The Ruins.

They were all good except for Sleepwalking, which was a terrible drama about nothing. And The Ruins wasn’t that great, but it was watchable. Not much happens at all. In Bruges was probably the biggest surprise/unique movie I saw and it was pretty gnarly. Colin Farrel was funny and solidly acting. Charlie Bartlett and Stop-Loss were both very good movies but not the absolute best of their kind. All of these, except for Sleepwalking with Charlize Theron, were worth watching.

I featured at Barrel of Laughs on Saturday night, followed by a set at The Final Countdown later that night. Both shows were a lot of fun and I tried out some new bits that went very well. Good times in Chicago.

I’ll be at Maxum Bar and Grill this Thursday for the third time, which is always a blast. See me there.

Categories: movies, shows, website
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I saw this movie Wanted today. It’s based off of a series of comic books and it had some awesome action and a good cast. Very insane action, actually. Very entertaining. And it was a good “R” rated movie because they didn’t hold back with any of the graphic scenes, which is always nice to see. And you get to see Angelina Jolie’s ass for a short second. Again, awesome.

I did a guest set at Barrel of Laughs in Oak Lawn, IL on Friday night and it went extremely well. Very cool crowd and lots of laughs all around. It’s always a good confidence booster to do a great set randomly at any given time. I’m slowly trying out new bits here and there and they seem to be going well.

Then I did a show at the Edge Comedy Club later that night and that was good too. Fun show and lots of laughs with some great Chicago comics. I always wonder if other cities have half as good comics floating around like Chicago has. I’m guessing they do, but not nearly as great of a variety.

Saturday night I did a guest spot at Comedy Comedy in Aurora thanks to Mr. Bert Borth. The show featured the headliner Vince Maranto who was very funny. Vince Carone, a booming comic and buddy of mine, did an awesome set and threw me a copy of his newer DVD. Very funny stuff, and an all around great guy. Check out Vince’s video on dealing with hecklers, it’s fantastic. I can’t wait to tell people in the future that we rocked the town of Aurora at one point. Without a supply of illegal drugs, that’s hard to do.

Categories: college, movies, shows, trips
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I saw Get Smart on Saturday and The Incredible Hulk on Sunday. They both were great and entertaining.

Get Smart was funny throughout in a variety of ways, rather than just relying on single jokes and their repetition, i.e. Meet the Spartans or Semi Pro. Steve Carell was great and really molded a good Maxwell Smart. I was really hoping it wouldn’t just be a Michael from The Office clone and while he kept the same amount of delivery and subtly, he doesn’t come across as stale. The whole cast was amazing and put together well, and the action was worthy of the movie admission price.

Speaking of ticket prices, my hometown theater now charges $7.75 to see a movie before 5pm and a whopping $9.75 after that time. However, if you go to a show on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday before noon, it’s only $5. And there’s no one there to talk during the movie or to bring crying babies into the theater. It’s always like a husband, wife, three kids and a little baby. How does the husband pull it off? “Honey, I know we have a newborn baby girl. And I know she’s hungry and needs a diaper change. But I need to see Rush Hour 3 like nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

So then I saw Hulk the next day and it was very entertaining. Lots of great action, Ed Norton was a solid Bruce Banner, and effects and things were superb. I wouldn’t say it’s better than Iron Man, not by a long shot, but it was great to see these two related Marvel franchise films coming out in such quick succession of each other. I think a Captain America movie a little later in the summer would have been the ultimate setup to a huge amount of Marvel revenue, but that’s just an idea. I think Hulk could have used a little more storyline, since the whole movie is based on getting the Hulk captured, and then the government needing his help to stop a bigger problem near the end. If they just would have left him alone, there wouldn’t have been the need for any events in the film, so I just thought that could have been a little stronger. And he does the arms out roaring thing about fifteen times, which got a little repetitive. He’s pissed, I get it.

Speaking of pissed, I don’t understand how people think it’s okay to commentate and yell things out during a public movie. The row of people behind me swore aloud several times when the Hulk was violating people with a ton of little kids around everywhere. And for some reason the whole theater would erupt into laughter at very unfunny moments of the movie. Norton would knock something down or kiss Liv Tyler and for some reason people would laugh. It was very weird. So I’m definitely only going to the early shows now. And I will continue to bring cans of pop from home so I don’t have to pay five bucks for a drink.

Categories: friends, movies, trips, youtube
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I watched two of the bigger DVD releases for today earlier in the week because I get the hookup at the video store so I thought I would do some quick reviews.

First was Be Kind Rewind starring Jack Black and Mos Def and it was pretty awesome. Very cool visuals from the director of Eternal Sunshine and overall a fun and zany movie. Very funny at times and a little dragging at others, but overall entertaining. Classic Jack Black and memorable Mos Def. Mos is one of the most actor-not-actors there is I think. 16 Blocks is a good flick.

Then there was Fools Gold starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McCaughnannahhhheeaayyhhaggey. There was not much to this movie except the following:

• A) a generic plot.
• B) hot Kate Hudson.
• C) barely alive Donald Sutherland.
• D) Matthew M. wearing no shoes or shirt the entire movie. Honestly, maybe two scenes.

I was a fool for watching Fool’s Gold but I thought maybe there’d be a shirtless Hudson for a change instead of McCaun-a-hey. I’m starting to think that he does all the stuff he does in his movies in real life. Because all he ever does is drink, play in the water, and go on adventures. And everything I’ve seen on his real life features the same stuff. The probably don’t even give him a script.

Recipe for a romantic comedy superstar: Ripped-ness, Tan-ness, a ‘Southern twang’ no matter what the character’s background is, and a child-like mentality that only a woman like Kate Hudson can change.

It’s just getting repetitive. I’m ready to see less Failure to Launch and more Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.

Okay, so not more TCM: The Next Generation. But more…Ed TV? Nah, screw that too.

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