I just had a great weekend at the Chicago Improv in Schaumburg, IL emceeing with the hilarious Blaine Capatch and Greg Behrendt.

They were both incredibly nice guys and we had an awesome weekend of shows. At one point during the last show, I asked the crowd, “What’s everyone doing after the show,” to which a very special lady in the front row replied, “YOU!” I had no idea what to say and just laughed with everybody else for a bit. It’s always fun to be caught off guard when you’re least expecting it.

We saw Indiana Jones this weekend before the last show, too. It was…interesting. A little too out there for my Indy taste but it was entertaining. Some good trailers were before the movie, including a much more explanatory one for Hancock. It shows that he’s like a cocky superhero, which I thought Will Smith kind of already was. After all, he makes “this suit look good,” in like every movie.

I’ve been reading a ton of comics lately, mostly Batman. I read Volume One of Hush and a ton of other short collections. I’m working on Alan Moore’s The Watchmen right now, so I’m caught up for when the awesome looking movie comes out sometime in the near future.

My mom asked me what I thought of her wearing some sort of Usher fragrance she ripped out of a magazine the other day. I don’t really know what I think of it. Why is Usher all up on my mom?

I’m going to be hopefully getting some viral videos up and running on YouTube and here soon. I have a web series I’m working on with my pal Steve Nelson and it should be glorious. Stay tuned.

Categories: comics, funny stories, shows, youtube
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I had a fun start of the week in Cadillac, MI with some friends where we found joy in collecting firewood, starting fires, and reciting this 1991 commercial for the Chicagoland favorite Mr. Sub.

A dog at one point joined us, who was incredibly mangy and old, and who I think was really just a homeless-hippie-werewolf that was waiting to turn back into a homeless-hippie. I think at one point he may have asked us for spare change with his barks, which was very impressive.

I ate at Culver’s on the way home from the trip. I got this Moutain Dew Chill thing that was pretty great looking, but upon taste was deathly sour. It had to be like fourteen cans of M.D. condensed into one slurpee texture. It ended up melting in the car on the way home while I watched season two of Arrested Development.

Culver’s should really think about just throwing cocaine on their menus. Have a line with every bite of butterburger. Those two vices service each other very well. And cocaine doesn’t melt unless you burn it. Right?

Ending, in the words of Scottie Pippen about his lacking skill of sub eating, “ThisisonesixfooterIcan’thandleladieslet’shaveaparty.”

Categories: friends, funny stories, trips
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I’m sitting in my college-cluttered room trying to find places to put all of my beer bongs and Animal House posters. Just kidding, I’m actually trying to find places in my house to do crossword puzzles where my parents won’t offer their advice on filling in the squares.

My phone got run over today on Harlem Ave. in Palos Heights, Illinois. That was sad/rad. I was crossing the busy street with some friends on bikes and I had this pouch on mine that holds stuff. It was holding my friend’s cell phone and my cell phone when they suddenly decided they wanted to check out the ground during our crossing. By the time we heard the clickity click of them bouncing off the ground, they were exploded into the sky into several pieces by a barrage of traffic. We picked up all the pieces, recited several situation-appropriate jokes like, “Can you hear me now,” and “Hey, looks like I’m not going over my minutes this month!” and then went and got smoothies at a Christian bookstore/cafe. The whole story sounds like a scene from a movie where some bike riders go missing on the campus of a Christian college, so I might just get to writing that semi-autobiographical tale soon.

I’ve got a lot of cool stuff coming up. Tons of shows all around Illinois, a lot of writing projects with various people, and possibly some speech coaching at my old high school in the summer and fall. I’m applying for jobs, too, so that could add some extra mayhem to the incredibly open (so far) summer days.

I’m going to start my screenplay about Rollerblading soon.

That’s right. Rollerblading.

Categories: funny stories, my folks, shows
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