I saw this movie Wanted today. It’s based off of a series of comic books and it had some awesome action and a good cast. Very insane action, actually. Very entertaining. And it was a good “R” rated movie because they didn’t hold back with any of the graphic scenes, which is always nice to see. And you get to see Angelina Jolie’s ass for a short second. Again, awesome.

I did a guest set at Barrel of Laughs in Oak Lawn, IL on Friday night and it went extremely well. Very cool crowd and lots of laughs all around. It’s always a good confidence booster to do a great set randomly at any given time. I’m slowly trying out new bits here and there and they seem to be going well.

Then I did a show at the Edge Comedy Club later that night and that was good too. Fun show and lots of laughs with some great Chicago comics. I always wonder if other cities have half as good comics floating around like Chicago has. I’m guessing they do, but not nearly as great of a variety.

Saturday night I did a guest spot at Comedy Comedy in Aurora thanks to Mr. Bert Borth. The show featured the headliner Vince Maranto who was very funny. Vince Carone, a booming comic and buddy of mine, did an awesome set and threw me a copy of his newer DVD. Very funny stuff, and an all around great guy. Check out Vince’s video on dealing with hecklers, it’s fantastic. I can’t wait to tell people in the future that we rocked the town of Aurora at one point. Without a supply of illegal drugs, that’s hard to do.

Categories: college, movies, shows, trips
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I saw Get Smart on Saturday and The Incredible Hulk on Sunday. They both were great and entertaining.

Get Smart was funny throughout in a variety of ways, rather than just relying on single jokes and their repetition, i.e. Meet the Spartans or Semi Pro. Steve Carell was great and really molded a good Maxwell Smart. I was really hoping it wouldn’t just be a Michael from The Office clone and while he kept the same amount of delivery and subtly, he doesn’t come across as stale. The whole cast was amazing and put together well, and the action was worthy of the movie admission price.

Speaking of ticket prices, my hometown theater now charges $7.75 to see a movie before 5pm and a whopping $9.75 after that time. However, if you go to a show on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday before noon, it’s only $5. And there’s no one there to talk during the movie or to bring crying babies into the theater. It’s always like a husband, wife, three kids and a little baby. How does the husband pull it off? “Honey, I know we have a newborn baby girl. And I know she’s hungry and needs a diaper change. But I need to see Rush Hour 3 like nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

So then I saw Hulk the next day and it was very entertaining. Lots of great action, Ed Norton was a solid Bruce Banner, and effects and things were superb. I wouldn’t say it’s better than Iron Man, not by a long shot, but it was great to see these two related Marvel franchise films coming out in such quick succession of each other. I think a Captain America movie a little later in the summer would have been the ultimate setup to a huge amount of Marvel revenue, but that’s just an idea. I think Hulk could have used a little more storyline, since the whole movie is based on getting the Hulk captured, and then the government needing his help to stop a bigger problem near the end. If they just would have left him alone, there wouldn’t have been the need for any events in the film, so I just thought that could have been a little stronger. And he does the arms out roaring thing about fifteen times, which got a little repetitive. He’s pissed, I get it.

Speaking of pissed, I don’t understand how people think it’s okay to commentate and yell things out during a public movie. The row of people behind me swore aloud several times when the Hulk was violating people with a ton of little kids around everywhere. And for some reason the whole theater would erupt into laughter at very unfunny moments of the movie. Norton would knock something down or kiss Liv Tyler and for some reason people would laugh. It was very weird. So I’m definitely only going to the early shows now. And I will continue to bring cans of pop from home so I don’t have to pay five bucks for a drink.

Categories: friends, movies, trips, youtube
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I was getting Subway yesterday and was astonished to see that there are only a few $5 footlongs left in the variety. The biggest problem is no turkey. It’s gone. Back to regular price. How is turkey supposed to cost any more than the other lunch meats? Eventually it’ll just be like lobster or something where they don’t even put the price on the menu.

“How much is the turkey going for today?”

“How much you got?”

They have a new spicy turkey sub. It’s $8.90 for the footlong. What the hell is going on? A gallon of gas and a footlong is like $1,000 now. I’m going to have to start eating those gas station hot dogs that are 2 for $1. Can’t beat that price. Or that food poisoning.

At Subway, the sandwich artist with crooked teeth starting throwing whatever ingredients she wanted on the grilled chicken sub I had to settle for. Just dressing it up herself. Then I stopped her and told her what I wanted on it and she looked at me like I interrupted her piano recital. Her hands froze over the sub like a row of black and white keys and she glared at me, taking some stuff off and sniffing loudly in that way people do when they are peeved. So I gave her the quick list of fixins and she listens and does it up. But then she throws tomatoes on it. And I say no tomatoes. And she says, “You just said tomatoes.” And I said, “But I don’t eat tomatoes. Never have never will.” And she said, “Then why did you say you wanted them on your sub?” And I said, “I didn’t. I don’t like them at all.” And she took them off and slid the sandwich over to the register to do a half-ass wrap job. And even though I wanted the combo, I couldn’t give her the satisfaction.

So Subway kind of sucks in my mind right now. I’m a much bigger Mr. Sub fan. Check my older blog for the best 90s Chicagoland commercial of all time.

Categories: food
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I watched two of the bigger DVD releases for today earlier in the week because I get the hookup at the video store so I thought I would do some quick reviews.

First was Be Kind Rewind starring Jack Black and Mos Def and it was pretty awesome. Very cool visuals from the director of Eternal Sunshine and overall a fun and zany movie. Very funny at times and a little dragging at others, but overall entertaining. Classic Jack Black and memorable Mos Def. Mos is one of the most actor-not-actors there is I think. 16 Blocks is a good flick.

Then there was Fools Gold starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McCaughnannahhhheeaayyhhaggey. There was not much to this movie except the following:

• A) a generic plot.
• B) hot Kate Hudson.
• C) barely alive Donald Sutherland.
• D) Matthew M. wearing no shoes or shirt the entire movie. Honestly, maybe two scenes.

I was a fool for watching Fool’s Gold but I thought maybe there’d be a shirtless Hudson for a change instead of McCaun-a-hey. I’m starting to think that he does all the stuff he does in his movies in real life. Because all he ever does is drink, play in the water, and go on adventures. And everything I’ve seen on his real life features the same stuff. The probably don’t even give him a script.

Recipe for a romantic comedy superstar: Ripped-ness, Tan-ness, a ‘Southern twang’ no matter what the character’s background is, and a child-like mentality that only a woman like Kate Hudson can change.

It’s just getting repetitive. I’m ready to see less Failure to Launch and more Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.

Okay, so not more TCM: The Next Generation. But more…Ed TV? Nah, screw that too.

Categories: movies
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I just had a great weekend at the Chicago Improv in Schaumburg, IL emceeing with the hilarious Blaine Capatch and Greg Behrendt.

They were both incredibly nice guys and we had an awesome weekend of shows. At one point during the last show, I asked the crowd, “What’s everyone doing after the show,” to which a very special lady in the front row replied, “YOU!” I had no idea what to say and just laughed with everybody else for a bit. It’s always fun to be caught off guard when you’re least expecting it.

We saw Indiana Jones this weekend before the last show, too. It was…interesting. A little too out there for my Indy taste but it was entertaining. Some good trailers were before the movie, including a much more explanatory one for Hancock. It shows that he’s like a cocky superhero, which I thought Will Smith kind of already was. After all, he makes “this suit look good,” in like every movie.

I’ve been reading a ton of comics lately, mostly Batman. I read Volume One of Hush and a ton of other short collections. I’m working on Alan Moore’s The Watchmen right now, so I’m caught up for when the awesome looking movie comes out sometime in the near future.

My mom asked me what I thought of her wearing some sort of Usher fragrance she ripped out of a magazine the other day. I don’t really know what I think of it. Why is Usher all up on my mom?

I’m going to be hopefully getting some viral videos up and running on YouTube and here soon. I have a web series I’m working on with my pal Steve Nelson and it should be glorious. Stay tuned.

Categories: comics, funny stories, shows, youtube
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